Thursday, June 30, 2005

Whadda mean his "tu-tu" is small?????

Soon after Gumbo came into our lives at 5 months of age, we planned to have him "tutored" (with apologies to Gary Larsen). Not exactly sure when to do this, we assumed we should do this when Gumbo's testicles had descended. When inquiring a bit more about this procedure with The Ouachita Valley Dog Training Club, we learned that a male dogs' testicles descend at birth or shortly thereafter. A quick examination by one of the trainers indicated that Gumbo's testicles had, in fact, not descended. The advice was to get Gumbo "tutored" right away, since this condition, cryptorchidism, could cause cancer later in life. Besides, Kathy and I are firm believers in not bringing anymore puppies into the world. So this was a no-brainer for us.

So the "tutoring" is scheduled, and Gumbo goes in to Rundell Veterinary Clinic. I explained the whole scenario about Gumbo's non-descending testicles to Lois, the receptionist and know-all at Rundell's.

About 2:30 that afternoon, I inquire about Gumbo.

"How's Gumbo?" I ask.

"You know his testicles had descended." quips Lois.

"OK, so how's Gumbo?" I ask once again.

Lois chimes in, "You see, his testicles were very, very, very, very, very small."

"Wonderful, how's Gumbo?" for the third time.

"Oh, he's fine. You know, his 'tu-tu' is also very, very, very, very small." injects Lois.

"Whadda mean, his 'tu-tu' is very, very, very, very small?" I'm starting to get perturbed.

"You know, his 'tu-tu'."

"No, I don't know. What in the hell do you mean, his 'tu-tu'?" Lois probably thinks I'm obtuse.

"You know, " she whispers into the phone, "his penis."

"Gee thanks, Lois. Now I have an inferiority complex about the size of my dog's 'tu-tu'. One thing a man never wants to hear from a woman is that a 'tu-tu' is very, very, very very small, even if it is his dog's."

Well, I start self-esteem counseling next week, and I'm sending Lois the bill.

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